The Pet War is a hilarious story about the timeless battles of dog vs. cat, brother vs. sister, know-it-all vs. know-nothing. Eleven-year-old Otto wants a dog. His twelve-year-old perfect sister, Lexi, wants a cat. Their mother, who works very long hours as a nurse, wants neither. Pets are expensive, so who's going to pay for everything? And what happens to the pet when the siblings are at their dad's for the weekend? Otto has an idea. What if he got a job and earned enough money to pay for the dog? Then Lexi has to open her big mouth. She proposes that whichever sibling can raise enough money first will decide which pet they get. Oddly enough, their mom and dad agree. With Otto and Lexi each out to defeat the other, their business plans become more elaborate and involved. As the competition gets fiercer, the stakes get higher, and the battle lines have been drawn. So let the Pet War begin....

"Young Frankenstein meets The Princess Bride in the most hysterically hilarious book I've read in years."--Chris Grabenstein, #1 New York Times bestselling author All orphan Bolt Wattle has ever wanted was to find his true family. When a mysterious baron in far-off Brugaria sends for Bolt, he wonders if he's getting closer to finding his long-lost parents. But Baron Chordata appears to be a twelve-year-old boy who wears tuxedos all the time, shouts at everyone, and forbids Bolt from asking questions. Things couldn't get any worse . . . until midnight, when the Baron bites Bolt and turns him into a half boy, half penguin. Then things really couldn't get worse-- nope, wait, they get a lot worse. With the help and hindrance of a plucky girl who just might be the world's greatest bandit, a whale cult led by a man whose weapon is a stale loaf of French bread, and a sinister but friendly fortune-teller who can't stop cackling, Bolt's on a quest to reverse the curse, return to human form, and stop the Baron from taking over the country of Brugaria with his army of mind-controlled penguins in what might be the weirdest--and funniest--middle-grade novel you've ever read.